The anguished feeling came harder as I poured out my heart in prayer. “Where are you Lord? Why would you turn away from me now, when I need you more than ever?” I tossed around the bed, waiting for a reply to my unspoken plea. I felt the tenseness in my vain increase as I struggled with the bitterness that burned in me. The room was silent and the night still, nothing could be heard except my sniffing. My eyes were heavy from incessant crying and inadequate sleep. My thoughts raced through events of the day. I felt a cloud of depression settle on me like dust on a cold harmattan morning.
“Where is my God? Where is the one I have known since my childhood? The one my mother talked about, the one my father believed. ” I cried out finally in frustration. In an instant of anger, I stood and flicked on the lights. My eyes caught sight of the book on my bedside table. Turing around, I fell again unto the bed and broke down in tears, “Your word is a lie; you have not kept your promises to me.” I screamed, almost certain I would not make it through the night.
Just when my crying subsided and my pulse rate was beginning to come down, I suddenly felt an inclination to pick up the book, my bible. Scrolling down the first page my hands opened, I read out loud in mockery
“But I will never stop loving him, nor let my promise to fail him. No, I will not break my covenant; I will not take back a single word I have said. I have sworn an oath to David, in my holiness I cannot lie.”
I read it the first time and sighed in disbelieve. “I guess the covenant was with David because God you have failed to keep your promise to me.” I was going to drop the bible when a voice within me told me to read again. I did, reluctantly at first, and then over and over until gradually I felt an aura of peace envelope me. Then I heard the same words whispered in my ears in the most soothing tone I have ever heard.
“I can not Lie. Even if I tried I can’t. Every word, every promise, every single covenant I have made with you, Seye, will come to pass. Believe me, even when it seems impossible to believe, just believe, because I have sworn an oath by myself, my word will come to pass. I can not lie, it is impossible for me to lie, impossible! I will never stop loving you.”
I felt an illumination in my spirit as I listened to the voice of God encourage me to trust in his unfailing love. I did and a few hours after my encounter with the God of Rest, I got my miracle, that same day.
Dare to believe.
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